Many of us are trying to figure out how to be happy and what does it really take to get there. I can give you a start: I promise you that I will not be cliché in this post, however, this process is a self-practice, and you must reflect on your thoughts and the words you use on yourself daily. If you take some time to inventory and audit your mind, then you may find that your self-talk is overwhelmingly negative. Here, I share how to stop negative self-talk and restore it with positive self-talk.
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HOW TO BE HAPPY | 3 Things You Need to Stop Telling Yourself Now
The information found on Toya’s Truths should not be viewed as medical and/or psychological advice or evaluation. This is my personal experience and the information on this blog is not a substitute for professional medical guidance.
Let us begin by admitting that we are our worst self-critics. We spend all of our time with ourselves: when you look in the mirror, when you make a mistake, when you are having a hard time learning something new, when you are having a great day, when you are asleep, when you are feeling your worst, when you are feeling your best; this list can go on and on. There. Now that’s out of the way, then we can be wholly honest with ourselves. Being self-aware is (check link 1 and link 2 for great self-awareness resources) super important and knowing that our thoughts may be destructive is the beginning of rebuilding our foundation.
Most of us are pretty good at encouraging loved ones and even strangers! However, it is that little but loud voice in our own heads that tells us that something is wrong with ourselves and do we even deserve anything good. Ugh. Sounds familiar? It is up to you (myself included!) to rewire and retrain our brains to be kind and compassionate to ourselves. Getting to the point of happiness is achievable and it starts with the thoughts we tell ourselves every day (without even realizing it).
1. I AM NOT ENOUGH
This one is a major doozy and keeps you from accomplishing so many things. For example, it shows up especially when you are up against a perceived challenge or something new you are interested in doing. When this thought rears its ugly head, it can turn a once inspired thought into ravenous black hole of internal abuse. This idea often leads to the feeling of worthlessness, self-doubt, shame, and pity.
I would argue that everyone at one point or another, some more than others, grapple with this destructive thought that leaves one paralyzed to act. It is probably unavoidable; however, it is manageable.
1a. Restore with – I AM UNIQUE AND I AM VALUABLE.
Note to self: I am unique in several ways, valuable to achieving my goals and loved ones. This is where you will regularly take time to consider your strengths and acknowledge how far you have come. Also, remember to appreciate who you are and recognize you are loved.
HOW TO BE HAPPY | 3 Things You Need to Stop Telling Yourself Now
2. I DO NOT DESERVE GOOD THINGS
Firstly, that little but loud inner voice telling you that you do not deserve good things is sullied with fear and guilt. Secondly, finding out where the fear and guilt stems from will quell those feelings, thereby invalidating said guilt and fear. Thirdly, examine the moments and each step you took to get to where you are right at that instant.
2a. Restore with – I AM DESERVING OF MY WANTS AND DESIRES.
Note to self: When you have received something good and/or earned an opportunity, you should take some time to relish in your good feelings of success. Appreciate and acknowledge the wins along your journey.
3. I ALREADY FAILED AND I CAN’T START OVER
I promised I would not be cliché but hear me out: failure only happens when you give up on yourself, so do NOT do that. You can always start over or pick up where you left off. I would argue that, sometimes, starting over gives you the clean slate and fresh eyes you need to see your vision more clearly. So, take a pause if you must, pick it back up and keep going.
3a. Restore with – I AM LEARNING AND GROWING.
Note to self: Figuring things out is a part of the journey and you probably will not get it on the first few tries, however, you should learn from your mistakes. Mistakes does not mean failure, nor do they define your future. Accept and acknowledge mistakes, learn from them and then keep going in order to move onto the next great thing.
HOW TO BE HAPPY | 3 Things You Need to Stop Telling Yourself Now
Final notes:
- Be patient and kind to yourself – things may not happen as quickly as you would like, and this does not mean it won’t happen. So stop beating yourself up.
- Take your time – quality over quantity.
- Live in the moment. Truly appreciate the happiness you feel when it is happening by soaking it all up. Don’t think about the past moments or the future moments when you’re happy in that moment. Just focus on your happy in that moment. 🙃
- Trust your gut – that cringe you get when something feels wrong. That is your intuition guiding you to safety.
- Stop bs-ing with things and people who don’t want to see you elevate! Let go sooner than later.
- Take one step at a time. One day at a time. A planner and calendar will help.
- You are more than your resume. Don’t downplay who you are if you don’t check off all the boxes for the things you want. Again, don’t beat yourself up.
- Be consistent in your pursuit. I know life can come at us fast, but stay the course as best as you can. Don’t stop even if you feel like you can’t give your all, every bit counts.
- Rest before you get burnt out. How do you know you’re about to be burned out? You might become sad, lose interest, and/or irritable. It’s OK to rest, as a matter of fact, you should take at least a day or two each month just to solely focus on you. Take vacations (short ones and long ones)! 🙂
- This process is continual (daily practice) and not easy in the beginning, however, it is worth the effort and results.
How are you finding your happy? What does happiness look like for you? What does it mean for you?
Happy Lifestyle Living! 🖤
This post is all about
HOW TO BE HAPPY | 3 Things You Need to Stop Telling Yourself Now
The information found on Toya’s Truths should not be viewed as medical and/or psychological advice or evaluation. This is my personal experience and the information on this blog is not a substitute for professional medical guidance.
Toya is a model, actress, and lawyer who enjoys sharing her life experiences. She shares her experiences on travel things, adventures, products/services and reviews everyday lifestyle moments. She inspires her readers to get out and live their lives to the fullest!
